I think I am morally bankrupt
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Bring me that man meat
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize