Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
