Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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