i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize