Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
