just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
