Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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