Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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