Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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