i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Who died my cat blue again?
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