Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
