You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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