Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found the puke drawer
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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