I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
