not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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