Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Never joke about your clitoris.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
