One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
