people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
