This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
