That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
