i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
