i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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