There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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