So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
