I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
