Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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