Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
