Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm really into asian looking animals
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
