I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
