Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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