If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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