Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sarcasm needs its own font
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize