Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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