do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
