just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
