Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
