His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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