u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
