On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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