I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
