marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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