My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
