I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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