Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
