Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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