You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
