White coat. Heels.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
