Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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