why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
