16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
