i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
