from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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