I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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