i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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