I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
