could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
