Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
