Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
