The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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