So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
