How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No stitches, just platelets and will power
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
