mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
