in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
