so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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