My pussy is not your playground.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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