I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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