The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I looked at my own cervix.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
