we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
