HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
